Dear Angel,
My mom just moved to a nursing home and I want her to be happy and comfortable. Although she seems content, she has asked once or twice about returning home. What are the best ways to address this? Also, how can I help her to feel more at home there?
Thanks for your help!
Phil N. Atthome
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Dear Phil,
The transition of a loved one who recently moved to a nursing home can sometimes be challenging at first, but there are ways to make them feel more comfortable and at home. Below are some ideas to incorporate early, so your loved one has a smooth, easy transition:
- Visit regularly: Visit your loved one often and on a regular schedule, if possible, to help them feel more at ease. They’ll look forward to your visits and know they can count on you to be there.
- Surround them with their personal belongings: Bringing your loved one’s things to their new home, such as furniture and decorations that are special to them, will surely help them feel more comfortable in their new space. While they won’t be able to take all of their possessions with them, they can take comfort in surrounding themselves with some of their favorite things. If you aren’t sure what they’d really want you to take, be sure to consult with your loved one.
- Minimize change in their new home and routine: Avoid buying and/or presenting your loved one with too many new decorations and activities. Allow your loved one to get adjusted with the personal belongings they’re already used to and make sure they are able to enjoy the activities they enjoyed before. Be mindful that your loved one may feel more at home by keeping their usual routine and hobbies as much as possible and may need to ease into new situations at their own pace.
- Remind them that they are safe: Gently remind your loved one how safe their new home is how there is help available there for anything they might need.
- Encourage them to make new friends: Make your loved one aware that the other residents likely have a lot in common with them and are in the same situation. Suggest they attend an activity that sounds interesting to socialize with others.
- Assure your loved one that you will always be available and only a phone call away. This will help them feel relieved and less isolated in their new living arrangement. Make sure your loved one has easy access to a phone that they can operate and they have your number, and the numbers of other close family members or friends available.
- Bring your family member a favorite meal. A special meal can bring comfort to a loved one.
- Decorate their room with photos of family members.
- If the facility allows, bring in the family dog for a visit.
If Your Loved One Asks About Returning Home
It may take some time and planning for your loved one to feel at home in a nursing home. If her or she asks about returning home, exercise empathy and understanding. Have an open, compassionate conversation with your family member about their feelings and concerns. Explore their reasons for wanting to leave and see if any immediate issues can be resolved within their current setting. For individuals with dementia, their environment can impact their feelings significantly, so it’s especially important to address these concerns quickly.
As described above, you can help your loved one feel more comfortable by making minor adjustments and getting the staff at the facility involved. Sometimes, seemingly trivial comforts like a favorite meal, family photos, a familiar routine, or a visit from a beloved pet can significantly boost their mood and sense of belonging.
Hope this helps!
Angel
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